Memories!
September 3, 2006
by Emil Kanov, Portraitist,
"Baby Girl" Charcoal on paper
What do you recall when
you think back to the days when you were a child? Do you recall what
you got for your birthdays or for Christmases? How about trips that
you went on with your family? Who was the first person in your family
that you knew well and they died? Can you recall the first really
big injury you received? How about the names of all your playmates
before you started school?
Sometimes it is fun to
rummage through the sands of time in the corners of our mind and recall
the events of our lives. My Mother at age 98, in a world now darkened
by macular degeneration and silenced by severe hearing loss, revels daily
in the memories that she has going back over 90+ years. She appeared
lost in thought the other day and I asked her, "What you doing Mom?"
She replied, "Just going back over my memories".
Wow, I see her often in
the recliner sometimes with her eyes closed, or staring out the window
and I know she is in her reverie recalling all those wonderful little snippets
saved for a lifetime. She is such a special soul, and we have always
been so very close. I regarded her as my hero and role model all of my
life and some of my best memories that I recall are when I was little.
There I would be, always near her, often sitting in the kitchen watching
her prepare a planned meal for 20 or so guests. I recall helping
her with projects, such as preparing fruits and veggies for canning.
I remember like it was
yesterday the time my Daddy was on a business trip and we had a blizzard
in St. Paul, Minnesota. The snow was 4 feet deep and Mom and I dug
out our walkways and those of a little old lady that lived next door.
When we finished we were throwing snow as high as 7 and 8 feet in order
to get it piled up. Ugh!
As much work as that was,
I can still list it as one of the good memories. However, I also
recall the time I rolled my first car in a ditch. That year (1961)
I had three accidents within 12 months. Fortunately I must have learned
something because I never had another until a few years ago. Forty
plus years accident free is a pretty darn good traffic record. Of
course the insurance company doesn't look at that. One wreck to them
is a trend!
I recall the birth of
my two daughters and how special it was after nine months of not too patient
(or comfortable) waiting to hold them and love them. I recall the
exact moment including where I was and what I was doing when I found out
about the births of my five grandbabies. I recall exactly the
moment what I was doing and where I was on November 22, 1963 when President
John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Good times and bad, celebrations
and laments, cheers and mourning all them woven into the fabric of our
memory.
Our recollections serve
two purposes, to reflect on all the good things, and to take lessons from
the rest. We often refer to them as "Life's lessons learned!"
Not only do we do that individually, but we also do it nationally.
We have days set aside to commemorate special events, such as the Fourth
of July, Memorial Day and many others.
Do I remember every minute
and second of my time on the planet? Obviously I do not! There
are likely many reasons for that, none the least of which is selective
forgetting, as well as perhaps dismissing psychologically traumatic moments
because they are too hard to deal with. That is a luxury only each
of us can afford individually!
As a nation every smidgen
of history contains something in it that we can learn from and grow on.
I pray that we will always review our encounters with events with a critical
eye, just like I did for 40 plus years with regard to my driving.
I recall that song made
famous by that oh so recognizable voice; Barbra Streisand:
Memories,
light the corner of my mind.
Misty water color
memories,
Of the way we were.
Scattered pictures
of the smiles we left behind,
Smiles we gave to
one another
For the way we were.
Can it be that it was
all so simple then,
Or has time rewritten
every line?
If we had the chance
to do it all again,
Tell me? would we?
could we?
Memories may be beautiful
and yet,
What's too painful
to remember we simply choose to forget.
So it's the laughter
We will remember,
Whenever we remember
The way we were;
The way we were.
What's too painful to remember
we simply choose to forget! Some things we absolutely must
recollect because often my life or yours may depend on it.
